Today I’d like to take the time to share with you all something that I learned a year and a half ago when I was in therapy. Thinking back to that time and still to this day, I can be quite harsh and critical on myself. My thoughts seem to always sway drastically to one side (normally being negative) in situations were the unknown is present. I’m the type of person that loves schedules, daily routines, and knowing whats going to happen in any situation in my life. Giving up that control can be incredibly difficult and can sometimes leave me feeling quite anxious days before certain occasions occur. Thankfully, I’ve learnt over time how to best deal with my anxiety and how to retrain my thoughts so I slow down and relax before I get to the point of “no return”. Instead of saying the very common things that run through all of our heads when confronted with an obstacle, such as; I cant do this, I give up, I’m too afraid, I cant make this any better, what will they think of me?, this won’t work, or I’m not smart enough. Its important to challenge our thoughts and think REALISTICALLY.
Our minds don’t always work with us and sometimes it is our unrealistic thoughts that can bring us down and cause us to miss out on a lot of amazing opportunities. The key way to change this is to re frame your unhelpful thoughts. Instead of saying, “I’m afraid something bad will happen”, change the thought to, “I cant predict what the future will bring but chances are high that it will be great”. Or, instead of thinking “I cant handle this”, change that thought to, ” I’ve faced many challenges before, and I’ve conquered all of them. Not only that, but they rarely turn out to be anything significant in the grand scheme of things”. Or instead of having the thought “I’ve been rejected, I’m worthless”, change that to, “It’s better that I tried and failed than didn’t try at all, who knows, this could open more possibilities for me. Everything happens for a reason”. Anytime a negative thought comes to the forefront of your mind, practice this technique of reframing it to something more realistic. From there, prove yourself wrong! Continue to challenge those negative thoughts until they become less and less frequent. Keep a record of any negative talk that you have towards yourself, do you notice any patterns? Is there a certain area that your mind constantly wanders to? Perhaps a negative body image, or self esteem… Focus in on that and create a personal mantra that corresponds to it in a more realistic and positive light. Repeat it every morning and night to yourself, whether that be allowed or in your head, saying it validates it in our minds and can create a huge difference! Finally, recognize certain trigger situations and prepare yourself accordingly, have those reassuring back up plans in your mind. I know that certain events create more anxiety for me than others, so I recognize that and admit it ahead of time. Take the time to talk to a friend or loved one about whats on your mind, sometimes just opening up can make you feel a million times better and take a load off. It takes practice, but the more we retrain our minds the better quality of life we will have. I encourage all of you to try and incorporate this in to your lives!
As always, thank you to all of my amazing subscribers old and new. If you ever need anything you always know that I’m here..