Grief…

I’d like to take the time today to talk about grief.  Recently, a very good friend of mine passed away and her death hit me extremely hard. It left me feeling incredibly upset and sad, however, it also brought back the negative emotions and thoughts that I had associated with my mother’s death, that up until this point I had kind of thought I had accepted and moved past.  The truth is, that losing someone you love is probably the hardest thing any of us will ever have to experience in our lives.  It is something that sticks with us for a life time and never truly goes away because it acts as an imprint left on us to show that we had been given the chance to experience great love.  It’s important to know that grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness.  Its an emotional, physical, and spiritual necessity, that is completely normal and is the price we pay for having loved someone.  The only cure for grief is to allow yourself to grieve.  Personally, I’m the type to shut myself down and “attempt” to deal with my feelings on my own.  I don’t like others seeing me upset because I don’t like bringing that environment to them, so I’d rather suffer alone without anyone knowing and put that smile on my face because I think its the best thing to do.  However, I’ve learned that the way I’m dealing with things is not right and that I should start to take my own advice and know that its okay to not always be okay.  I build these walls up around my heart so HIGH in order to keep certain matters out, that once something hits me I fall HARD and struggle to deal with it because a million things I’ve been trying not to think about, all come crashing down at once.  It’s overwhelming.  My advice from what I’ve been experiencing is to not lock up your feelings or emotions, you need to address them, and release them, or they’ll only get worse.  Its also always important to remember to accept others help because you’re never truly alone in any battle you may be fighting, they’res always going to be someone there to help.  Remember that you are an incredibly strong person and that if it takes time to get over the loss of someone it doesn’t mean that you are weak, it is completely okay.  Everyone’s journey of grieving is completely different so never compare yours to another’s, and remember that it will take time.  You will never truly “get over” it like some say, for missing someone you had great love for doesn’t just go away in an instant.  All you can ever ask of yourself is to take one small step at a time. I know that when you are stuck in a place of feeling the shock, anger, hurt, guilt, and sadness, that comes with the loss of a loved one its hard to see those positives.  I can tell you to use that persons death as an inspiration to live your life, or to try and move on with each day as you normally would to make them proud.  But I know that’s not realistic when your stuck in this bottle of emotions and thoughts, its something that you will realize when the time is right. Grief will come and hit you in waves, so its okay to cry, to get upset, to yell, to scream, or to punch the pillow on your bed, because no one has the right to tell you otherwise.  Feel what you need to and then slowly start to pick back up the pieces you left behind, I promise you that the big hole in your heart will get smaller with time. All I can leave you with is this; when you are hurting think of the “FEELING” that the person you loved gave you.  Even though that person might not be here, that feeling will never go away because it was something that you were lucky enough to have received.  We never truly lose what we love in life, it just instead becomes a part of us.  We carry our loved ones in our hearts every day, and just because we can’t see them or hear them, doesn’t mean that they aren’t there or aren’t watching over us.  So don’t get frustrated if you don’t get any “signs” from them, sometimes when we try so hard to understand something it ends up clouding our ability to feel connected.  Just know that they are always with us in spirit and that love never truly ends, I encourage any of you going through the loss of someone to do what you feel is right to make YOU feel better.  Spend time in the company of those you love and those who make you happy, for it will make a world of difference.  Take up that exercise class, pick up a hobby, go to a party, start a new sport, or try new foods.  Do things that can help you move forward when you’re ready. I hope that this post might’ve helped you in some way and all I can think about is how lucky I am to have been given the chance to experience such an unconditional love, that makes saying goodbye so difficult.  If you ever need someone I’m here – Sierra xoxo

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